I just came across a blog post I started to write months ago but which I did not send out. It occurs to me that it still sums up my… problem. Here we go:
I think I figured out why my posts are so few and far between, and it’s implied (inferred?) in my last one, My List, So Far: Too much crapola, and despite the crapola-ness of each ‘note’/issue on my list, they all seem to have important implications, at least if you dig down deep enough under the… crapola.
Imagine every good rock band from 1964 to 1974 (the ‘60s’) playing their best stuff… but doing so simultaneously (notwithstanding that many of them really were intel ‘creations’ meant to scramble our minds) at, say, the Rose Bowl, all full volume. I’m not saying it’s like that ‘in my head,’ but it does seem so when I contemplate communicating with you all.
Plus, with any given subject/issue I feel like I have to ‘know everything’ about it before I blab word one. So what happens is I’ll lie down, promising to myself that I’ll write ‘something’ as soon as I do the rest of the research. And often I’ll do some research, which often leads to the result I mentioned last time: ‘The more I learn, the less I know.’ This sort of loop, of course, is not real conducive to impressive output.
A month or two will go by and there I still am, I mean I used to be a writer. [End quote]
Wait for the link you’ll come to for a better look at this.
There was more but you get the idea. (If you don’t remember my My List So Far post, it was from… lemme look it up… holy shit it was from May of 2017, more than a year ago!)… I gotta do something, straighten myself out or… I’ll go nuts or something. Make ‘Miles Mathis’ happy. I don’t wanna do that, do I?
See, the problem is still there. TOO MUCH STUFF! Yeah, I’m yelling in my head too. You can go back to the list from 2017 and look at the mess… and it’s only gotten worse. I’m not even going to start with the additions since then…
Actually, the reason I got around to writing this post is as a reaction to an email, or rather, two emails I got today.
Addendum: I wake up badly. Something is always bothering me upon returning to the planet in the AM. So as a distraction I go to my emails to see if anything encouraging has come in. Immediately afterwards, I either pick up a book (I’m always in the midst of a half dozen, all nonfiction) or do some searching on the Net, for info on the subject that’s at that moment bothering me or of interest. More on this in a bit.
One was from a woman who thanked me for my Open Letter to Miles Mathis… Hell, here it is (keeping it anonymous should equal her not minding), along with my reply:
I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed the MM response to your open letter [I suspect she means that he made a fool of himself, which he did]! I was ” his” devoted reader and had even wondered aloud (without connecting the dots) to my husband how he was able to create so much material. Oh, DUH! Your observations rang so true…
I haven’t been back to his website since the day I read that blog post. Oh, and I have shared the open letter any time someone mentions “him.”
Take good care. I’m looking forward to re-reading your work. Things that weren’t pertinent at the time may mean something more to me now.
(Name withheld)
My answer:
Remember my Open Letter to James Corbett? See, if he accepted my money, I’d be able to make comments on his blog…
thanks a bunch, [first name here]. i actually need a bit of encouragement sometimes. that i actually have an effect and am not just preaching to the choir is a big deal to me. not that i have that many subscribers to begin with…
maybe you’ve goosed me into a new post…
allan
i guess you don’t know that MM has mentioned me a few times in his ‘essays.’ some are amusing and they do show i’m upsetting ‘him’. the last one was in the first paragraph [of MM’s post]…
‘Yes, I am using the British term for my title, just because I can. And just to piss off you-know-who. (my emphasis)’
you can skip down on this one — he even included a photo of me:
http://mileswmathis.com/jackboot.pdf
The other email alerted me to some amazing photos, which you can view here. (Plus I’ll paste a couple in.) The sender very insightfully put this in the Subject Box: ‘Can’t see stars in space, but…’
Just go to the link and answer me this: How come we never get a shot like this from out the window of the ISS?
Do you see what he meant? Riiiight… If the star-view is that spectacular solely due to altitude (thinner air and less particulate matter), imagine the view from above the atmosphere! Say, from the International Space Station. Yet we never get photos of the stars taken by the ‘inhabitants’ of the ISS (those CGI animations like this don’t count). I mean look at those images! They even make mine from the desert look washed out, and I f-ing love looking up at or photographing the night sky. Look at the images from Tibet and answer me this: Why don’t we get photos like those shot by the inhabitants of the ISS? If you can’t answer, I can: Because – if there is an ISS up there – there is no one inside. I would then ask you to consider the implications…
No folks there’s no one in any NASA space station up there (even aside from the Apollo absurdity). I strongly suspect there are satellites circling earth with humans aboard but they are strictly military… (That’s another subject… part of the too much stuff! issue.)
Pretty nice sky but not close to the higher, clearer ones of Tibet.
Anyway, It occurs to me that a way to make my existence meaning – and given the evidence that there are at least… let’s see… at least 39 of you out there who are paying attention… I know the number because that’s the number who signed up for the $3.25 a month ‘gas money’ assistance via PayPal (see sidebar) – which actually goes toward the expense of maintaining this blog.
As you all know, or should know, I don’t write or make films for money, since my exit from H-wood I never have. I do these things from some weird need, which I cannot explain. There are many, many things that bother me these days… my lack of output is at the top of that list.
Another encouraging email I got recently…
Too much stuff has been my excuse (along with my absentmindedness), and as an excuse it’s wearing thin. So I’m thinking of trying this: Every day when I wake up in the morning, instead of picking up a book or doing some convoluted Net search, I’m going to come here to this blog and blurt whatever the hell is on my mind right then. No excuses or days off. Every day. I’ll add whatever images are handy and that seem relevant on some level (which may not be obvious).
Let’s see how it goes, shall we? (See you tomorrow.)
Allan