While I’m working on Part Two of ‘Yesterday’s Troubles’ I would ask that those interested in the subject of ‘cognitive dissonance’ (Orwell’s ‘doublethink’ is this on steroids) go back to the post and scroll down to ‘Lou’s comment, which is of interest for several reasons. Although I’d like you to see it along with my Reply, I’ll paste it in here also:
‘You might view my comment here more frustrating than complimentary and it may provoke your ire but it’s just my honest opinion. I enjoy your writing for its style (casual but understatedly captivating) and its uncommon perspective with the exception of what I deem to be phantasma.’
My best lighthouse shot.
Lou is a friend from Montauk, as is his wife, Connie. The two are… good friends, even. Yet. Yet I can safely say that Lou – or rather what is reflected in his comment – is a big part of the reason I left the town, and doubt that I will ever return. (Joe’s behavior is much, much higher on my list, but in any event no ‘one thing’ precipitated my final departure.)
Lou apparently likes my writing and, I’m pretty sure, likes me as a person. But notice the last word in his comment, ‘phantasmas.’ Based on what he wrote, the ‘kindest’ interpretation I can come up with is that Lou considers my view of the world (HTWRW) to be… I’ll quote from the online dictionary, for ‘Phantasm’: ‘a creation of the imagination or fancy; fantasy.’
In other words, Lou believes I’m living in a fantasy world. I’m, yes… nuts. Insane. I mean isn’t that what it means to walk around in a world of fantasy? (Trust me, this is what he meant.)
Inspired by Lou’s comment, I did a search and found a film that comes to mind in this context and that is well worth your time. I’ve seen it before and just viewed it again. The title is, simply, ‘Montauk.’ You can view it on Vimeo. Please do so now. It’s less than 15 minutes. I have to tell you, it brought tears to my eyes.
Back in the 90s… These kids are ‘all growed up’ now.
Up front in the film, the people who are interviewed briefly introduce themselves. I’m there, Lou’s wife, Connie, is there, and in fact everyone you see is someone I know, with a couple or so exceptions, very well.
If you look at the end of my Walter video you’ll hear Walter voicing a view of me that many if not most of these folks hold, i.e., I’m a ‘kook’ and ‘insane.’ (I did goad Walter into some of his outpouring of insults, but it didn’t take much. He needed to say these things to ‘justify’ his 180 turnabout re the 9/11 footage we analyzed.)
I fear that my ‘problem’ is not that I am insane, but that I simply look too closely at those around me, and care too much about what they do. Maybe this is a version of insanity.
Loved the place in winter.
Interestingly, in the film, when Connie is asked for her ‘most unforgettable character’ (from Montauk) she names me, which, on my first viewing, came as a shock. Connie is a ‘real’ Montauker, not an UpIsland transplant like pretty much everyone else in the film, including me, and hence really knows the place and the people. Even I was thinking, ‘Couldn’t Connie come up with someone more… colorful?’ Perhaps what makes me so unforgettable is how I seem to be able to function in society in spite of being insane. But I speculate.
Me now. Last night.
My request that Lou respond to my response to his comment has been up there for many hours and Lou has remained silent. (I asked for his view on my Walter video, which is very much germane to the issue of my sanity.) Hopefully, he simply hasn’t noticed that I’m suggesting he participate in a back-and-forth with you all. (I intend to merely watch how it goes). If any of you are so moved, I’d suggest you ‘Reply’ to Lou’s comment also. After all, he did brand me insane. Some of you must have an opinion on that…
Meanwhile, I’ll continue struggling with Part Two of yesterday’s post.
Allan
My fear is that Lou will be as silent as Joe has been, and for the same basic reason. See, I can just about guarantee — no, I do guarantee – that Lou sees Walter’s flip-flop as simply a matter of his ‘seeing the light’ of clear thinking. Yet I doubt he wants to voice this view. I could be wrong. I hope I am, for his silence would be still another example of the ‘grim shadow’ I spoke about yesterday.
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