Getting Along?

A few of you guys have said you’d like to hear more about my ‘road adventures,’ so, in the spirit of Can’t You Get Along With Anyone?, here we go.

I never went into details about the my houseboat’s previous owner, the ‘good ‘ol boy’ who didn’t know he had a 30 gallon fresh water tank on the boat he’d owned for 10 years. Remember that? Steve Crandall is the sleazeball’s name, and not only was he the most boring human I’ve ever encountered — the type who cannot stop talking about himself and his incredibly boring life, and then charges you by the hour to listen to the tripe — but who is also a rip-off. One quick example that combines his incompetence, ignorance, and dishonesty:

He tells me that the fuel gage is accurate so when I took the boat out for a quick spin I figured the ‘1/4 filled’ (closer to half) starboard tank would be plenty. Well, I immediately run out of gas with a 20 knot wind pushing me onto a sheer rock cliff. Luckily I had bought a 25 pound anchor to replace his ridiculous 8 pounder; but I still almost lost the boat, and ended up paying $300 for a tow.

I’m not mad or anything (I should have verified the fuel) but I email him that the fuel gage is not accurate and that I almost lost the boat. He emails me back yelling that I owe him $2,500 for the work he’s done. And he wants it now. (HE insisted that I ‘not worry’ about wages until we were done and the boat on the way to the coast.) Nothing about my almost losing the boat or the faulty gage. This was not a surprise. When one of his girlfriends (btw, he likes ‘big girls’!) laughed at my blog post referring to him, he flipped out — boring people often have huge egos to make up for their shortcomings — and didn’t show up for work, then, when he finally did two days later, yelled ‘I didn’t buy nothin’!’ (He was supposed to stop by a hardware store.) I had to pry it out of him why he was pissed off (I’d made fun of him).

Addendum: I know: Why don’t I see it coming? Boring people are that way due to a lack of self-reflection. No self-reflection equals dishonesty, every time. I know this. At my age… for chissakes… know what I mean?

Speaking of boring, this is already getting boring. To cut to the chase: I owed him half what he demanded and this doesn’t count that he would stop work for — not exaggerating here — an hour or so to tell me about some babe he did or a car he painted. Not kidding. Cars he painted. Had no interest in me at all, even when I mentioned (out of desperation to change the subject) that Sean Penn and John Cusack both wanted to play me in the movies and how I’d had three ships sink under me and…

…I was in trouble because in spite of his nautical incompetence I needed his help/local knowledge. It wound up with me paying what he demanded, with silver and coins, at wholesale prices. He did real good. Although I could prove he was lying about the hours, to do so would have flipped him out further.

Anyway, he’s a thief and has to live with his boring self.

Next. I scrape together the money to ship the boat to Virginia Beach and have it done, with me on the road. Another mistake on my part. The trucker ‘borrows’ my dingy and now does not answer my emails inquiring where it is. But this is minor. The ship yard — ‘Chesapeake Yachts’ in Virginia Beach — accepts my boat from the trucker then starts in wanting more money, although I paid three months storage in advance.

The fuckers are telling me that there is ’60 gallons of toxic waste’ in the engine bilge and that they are going to spend over $1,000 to have it pumped out. The bilge-claim is not only untrue but ridiculous (see photo). A houseboat has a ‘flat’ bilge, so the water you see is maybe three inches deep. Having spent a lot of time with the engine, I can see that there is 5 – 8 gallons of… dirty water, maybe with a little gas mixed in, although I doubt it. I email them:

Kym,

As I wrote, I will take care of it. [I had emailed saying I myself would have it taken care of]
I see the photo. I have pumped that much water out with a 10 dollar plastic hand pump in less than five minutes. Plus 60 gallons is impossible since there was no more than 40 gallons in two tanks, which could not have all leaked without the engine running. I had a slow water leak, which is what this most likely is — mostly water.

I get this back:

ALLAN,

We DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE BUT A LICENSED COMPANY TO PUMP OUT HAZADOUS WASTE!

THE OWNER DOES  NOT ALLOW IT!!!

THE AMOUNT WILL BE ESTIMATED & IT WAS AROUND 30 GALLONS OF MIXED WATER & FUEL!

-WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND!!???
CONTACT THE OFFICE DIRECTLY AT (757)724-1717. [As I told them several times, I have wifi but no cell here]

REGARDS,

KYM

Notice it’s now 30 gallons? And now it’s ‘hazadous’ waste? (How could they know that? Did they have it analyzed?) I reply:

IT’S DOWN TO 30 GALLONS FROM 60 GALLONS EARLIER TODAY!!!! GREAT!!!!!! THE PROBLEM IS TAKING CARE OF ITSELF!!!!!!

A little humor, given the rude all CAPS yelling she did. So Kym sends me a beaut of an email telling me I have to 1) Pay for the pumping and 2) Vacate the premises. Right. Get my boat out of there now, even though I’m paid up until 2020.

For those interested in the details, see my reply below. Otherwise just skip it:

I’ll reply within your message so i don’t leave anything out. Atlho my words will be in CAPS, I am not yelling, as you did in your last email. I also don’t need to use exclamation marks, which are likewise rude, when not called for:

Allan,
The estimate is for removing the fuel & water ! The exact amount will be written once they come to do the service! SO YOU SAY. YOU SEND ME A PHOTO OF ABOUT 5 OR SO GALLONS OF DIRTY WATER IN MY BILGE AND TELL ME IT WILL COST APPROX $1,000, KNOWING I AM FAR AWAY AND CANNOT INSPECT THE BOAT MYSELF. WHEN I TELL YOU THAT I WILL TAKE CARE OF IT (WHICH IS MY RIGHT SINCE IT’S MY BOAT), YOU SEND ME A RUDE EMAIL IGNORING THIS.
There is no need to make snide comments that the fuel problem will take care of itself!
YOU STARTED WITH THE RUDE COMMENTS, SAYING (IN ALL CAPS, WHICH IS YELLING) ‘WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DON;T UNDERSTAND?’ THIS IS RUDE AND UNNECESSARY, AS IS REFERRING TO THE 5 OR SO GALLONS AS ‘TOXIC WASTE’. WHAT EVIDENCE DO YOU HAVE THAT BILGE WATER IS TOXIC WASTE???? IF YOU’RE GOING TO CLAIM 60 GALLONS (!!!) THEN DROP IT TO 30, THAT MEANS NO ONE INSPECTED, LET ALONE TESTED THE WATER. I KNOW A RIP OFF WHEN I ‘SMELL’ IT.
You are 100% responsible for hazardous materials, waste, fluids, etc. on you boat! So you will be the one to pay for the service. HAZARDOUS MATERIALS, YOU SAY? BOATS HAVE WATER IN THE BILGE SOMETIMES. YOU PUMP IT OUT. THE FOLKS AT SMITH MOUNTAIN LAKE SAID THERE WAS NO FUEL IN THE BILGE. SO I HAVE WITNESSES THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO RIP ME OFF WITH THIS.
The owner will use his discretion on having the service completed since you aren’t in compliance with the yard agreement you signed. THAT WAS A GOOD FAITH DOCUMENT, NOT MEANT TO BE USED TO STEAL FROM CLIENTS. YOU ACCEPTED THE BOAT. IF THERE WAS ‘ 60 GALLONS OF TOXIC WASTE’ IN IT, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
You WILL be responsible for the payment of that service.
I HAVE OFFERED TO TAKE CARE OF IT. I HAVE NOT OKAYED ‘AN OUTSIDE CONTRACTOR’ OR ANY MORE OF MY MONEY TO BE SPENT ON 5 OR SO GALLONS OF BILGE WATER.
You have continually avoided any communication by way of phone! You also seem to pick & choose to ignore which ever email you choose to read. THAT IS RICH. IT’S YOU WHO HAVE NOT COMMUNICATED. I HAVE MY EMAILS AND YOURS ARCHIVED, INCLUDING THE PHOTO THAT SHOWS A SMALL AMOUNT OF WATER IN THE BILGE. I TOLD YOU I AM OUT OF CELL COVERAGE AND ONLY HAVE WIFI. LOOK AT MY EMAILS. LOOK AT THE ONES YOU DIDN’T ANSWER.
You need to make arrangements to have your vessel moved ASAP! WE will be giving you 48 hrs. notice as of today. THIS IS OUTRIGHT EXTORTION. YOU KNOW VERY WELL I AM IN THE MOUNTAINS FAR AWAY AND CANNNOT DO THIS. I SENT YOU 3 MONTHS RENT AND OVERPAID FOR YOUR SERVICES AND NOW YOU PULL THIS??? (I USE EMAIL FOR THIS REASON. YOU CANNOT DENY OUR CORRESPONDENCES. LOOK AT IT. I HAVE BEEN IN GOOD FAITH HERE UNTIL YOU WERE RUDE.)
We have other customers & business to address besides you.
You will receive a written notice of eviction to remove your houseboat. AND YOU WILL HEAR FROM MY LAWYER AND MAYBE THE POLICE. ATTEMPTED EXTORTION. AND ALTHO YOU CAN ADD ‘TOXINS’ TO MY BILGE, REMEMBER I HAVE THE PHOTO YOU SENT, SO I KNOW HOW LITTLE IS IN THE BILGE. THAT IS A FLAT BILGE. THERE IS ABOUT 3 INCHES OF LIQUID IN THE BOAT. THE IDEA OF PAYING $1,000 TO PUMP 5 GALLONS IS NOT GOING TO WORK. NOT WITH ME.
Regards,
Kym

I’M CC-ING THIS AND OTHER CORRESPONDENCES TO MY LAWYER.

Point being, after spending another $4,000 for hauling the boat, the yard taking it off the truck ($510) and having my dingy ‘borrowed’, I’m dealing with more crooks, it appears. My next move? I dunno, but I am pissed off.

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Yeah, I know, pretty boring tale, not as interesting as Human Origins or Visitors from Elsewhere, but some of you asked for it.

Truly, Can’t I Get Along With Anyone?

Allan

Any of you in the Virginia Beach area and want to help me with this matter? You get the dingy back, it’s yours. (Really nice, worth $450.)