Apologies to those who miss my posts and are wondering what the problem is.
A couple days ago.
Doubly so to those who are contributing $3.25 ‘gas money’ each month and haven’t cancelled. I’ve been feeling a bit poorly lately, discouraged about the state of our species and so forth, but mainly the words aren’t flowing like they used to. Closest comparison would be to my surfing ability, which started to wane about eight years ago. It’s worse with the words. I have three or four ‘first’ paragraphs in the file labeled ‘Chance & Necessity’; ideas that fizzled even as I typed.
From the linked flick…
Absentmindedness. Not being able to think of the right word, let alone complete thought.
But still, not surfing is one thing. Giving up on you guys… I’m thinking I ought to fight that. So listen: If you’re interested in helping out, leave a comment, a suggestion of some sort.
Or: What would you like to hear my thoughts about?
Meanwhile, I’ve kept up on my photography, although that’s falling off as well. This was from a few days ago, Christmas Eve on the Gulf Coast.
I’m hoping that just writing something, anything, even this, might kickstart my sorry ass.
Hoping you (the personal you) have a good 2019.
Allan
‘Not being able to think of the right word’ — Wer die Wahl hat, auch die Qual hat.
For my part, the word processor (i.e., that function of the PC) has garotted my inner prose maker – because it s always easier to reword than to plough on. Always enticing, in the lull before the ploughing on, to reword, because .. why not. Because the imperfections of the first inking are too fresh in the memory. Rewording as distraction, as procrastination.
1540s, from Middle French procrastination and directly from Latin procrastinationem (nominative procrastinatio) “a putting off from day to day,” noun of action from past participle stem of procrastinare “put off till tomorrow, defer, delay,” from pro “forward” (see pro-) + crastinus “belonging to tomorrow,” from cras “tomorrow,” of unknown origin.
And then opposite to this is the ill-thought-out Tweet or Message, preferably misSpelt, which can, depending on who you are, get you in hot water or even a Tabloid inferno.
From a Site we want thoughtfulness, absolutely, but not perfection. McGowan’s Laurel Canyon book began as posts, and preserves his voice / sense of humour. The text may not however have undergone quite enough reworking before it took on its ‘dead tree’ avatar. Some friends whom i have gifted the book to dependably seize upon its ‘sloppiness’ as a casus belli – a reason to decline thinking about (or anyway discussing) what the sainted Dave has laid out for us. They are like those who will miss out on the best ribs in town because they can’t get past the presentation: the cutlery is all wrong, there is bog paper on the table instead of serviettes.
And yes i have reworded some of the above.
Enjoyed your comment, altho I seemed to lose track of the… the…
Hey Allan,
Can you get in the water? I’m not questioning the validity of the investigative work you do but that must be tiring for the soul. A surf/boogie or bodysurf may help, just playing in the ocean. Getting joy from something may inspire words.
I initially started following your newsletter a long time ago because I loved reading cosmic banditos and In search of captain zero. The realness mixed with humour specifically stood out and I’d love to see that in your writing again.
Anyway that’s just my opinion.
Happy New Year and I wish you all the best.
Remember the thoughts are not you. You are your heart not your head. Ego is telling you stories and controlling the true you, which is Love.
Go to you tube and watch some Eckhart Tolle videos. He has so many wonderful ones that are to the Heart of the problem
Take back your life. The Ego is in the driver’s seat right now. Beathe and be mindful. Just remember it’s only this moment that matters. Nothing but the moment. Don’t believe the stories your Ego is creating. Know you are Love as nothing can hurt you when you are present.
Beathe and ask yourself, what is really so wrong right now.
Sometimes you need to step away from the negative. Stay present inhale and simply think I am inhaling. Hold a bit and exhale, think only, I am exhaling. Love yourself. Thich Naht Hanh has some wonderful expressions.
For example
People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.
That’s your Ego. Find your true self and be present.
Thanks for the time lapse. Good to hear from you. That’s all I needed.
If it’s of interest I feel the same way you do. There’s a lot of it going around.
Gregory has it right… Watch Breath and live in the NOW… as the Artist you are.
You said your on the Gulf coast. Your getting closer to the epicenter of the great moon shot conspiracy. You need to get over to the space coast, winters are wonderful here. Plus you would be amazed at how realistic the Hologram launches are. I will buy you dinner and start contributing to your gas fund if you will watch a launch with me.
I sense sarcasm, which is fine, but I don’t know where the ‘space coast’ is or if there is camping on the beach there. As far as watching a ‘launch’ goes, I’d love to, and even better, one of their impossible backassward ‘landings’. You do know that those are not possible (according to Newtonian physics), right?
I just had a thought. Visit the best college for space/aeronautics and quiz the profs on how Musk’s stage one’s stay upright and alter trajectory simultaneously, especially toward the landing, at low speed. If they even mention grid fins and thrusters I’ll send them to this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AllaFzIPaG4
The above shows that all the test landings were done w/o fins and thrusters. Mmmmmm. The scumfuck who posted that video deleted my comment, which pointed out the impossibilities. Read the comments under that vid to understand the basis of my discouragement.
Also in my Seventies, I can relate to your state.
As an architect and artist, I experience what you explained on a cyclical basis….like once a year, and I panic. It takes me a few days to realize that the cycles of one’s life always curve
above and below a median line and are rarely just all high or low. As Buckminster Fuller often reminded us….if you don’t see the path of the cycle, you are standing too close…step back
a bit and get a wider perspective. You will re-charge on a natural basis. Keep the Faith and
carry on.
Aren’t cycles supposed to have up sides? If there isn’t one, what do you call it?
Allan~ So great to have you back! I think what Robert Armon, Architect is saying here is we must have patience – not to expect the cyclical changes of highs and lows to happen in ‘our’ time but to be patient. You had an upside just prior to this lowside you are now experiencing. We can’t control the length of our highs and lows – just living in the now of them is sufficient…
(Remember: Both highs and lows can be addicting. That’s when we experience malaise because we think we ‘need more’ of what we had prior to the shift ‘up’ or ‘down’.)
There comes a point in our cycles where we need to become dormant; like a seed that is planted – it doesn’t grow at once – it must first gather nourishment, then strength to push free of the soil and into the sunlight. You are in a new cycle of dormancy…. you WILL break through!
Whether you are going through your highs or lows – you are an inspiration to me!
Allan, I wish you a Happy New Year!
Very kind regards,
~Kimberlie
Allan, you’ve set the bar for yourself much higher than run-of-the-mill folk. Look back objectively at the enormous volume of work you’ve pumped out, and we’re the better for it.
You’ve helped foster a small but determined group of people who can now think more clearly and understand TPTB and HTWRW. It’s fine to have a lot knocking around in your mind yet not have something to write about. At least at the time.
Cut yourself some slack and let the real you further develop. It’s not your getting older as such, but how much can a “mere mortal” keep doing at a high pace? Look at how much you’ve been expecting of yourself!
Just be the Allan we know and love and be a bit kinder to yourself. We’re not going anywhere.
Realizing that there is a (small) group that’s ‘not going anywhere’ is an encouragement, no question. But I keep swinging back and forth between not caring (about our species) and caring. The latter is the most damaging since all you have to do (for ex) is read the comments to a video like the one above to understand what’s really going on. This is just an example. There are so many.
The only subject that feels important is separating the conscious agents of deceit (Corbett, say, since he’s so subtle) and the unknowing participants, aka Useful Idiots.
By the way, Mellryn, Richard Grove (whom you mentioned in a comment as someone you listen to) is one of the worst of the worst (agents of deceit). I’ve written about him. In fact, I think for my next post I’ll reproduce that one. Sorry, I know how he can get under your skin, fool you completely.
?? I’m 64 so I ain’t gonna claim memory I ain’t got (someone said turmeric . . . hmm), but I think it must have been someone else who mentioned Grove. I didn’t recognize the name so I did a search, and I still don’t know who he is. Possibly I found a lonesome quote of his? At any rate, he’s not one of my regular sources — looks like he does videos, and I prefer articles, for what that’s worth.
I’d like to read your post about him. In fact, sometimes I find an interesting source and wish I had an annotated-Weisbecker or something — I think, “Didn’t Allan talk about this guy — ?”
So sorry, Mellyrn. I meant Kimberlie, got the names crossed. A perfect example of my waning intellect…
I must of missed the Grove thing…he’s the tragedy and hope guy or the british historian? I guess I’ll await the repost;)
Yes, Allan, Richard Grove fooled me. Him and his cohort Lisa Arbercheski. Fooled me utterly and completely. Ugh……….. how could I have ever been so blinded! Thank you again for removing the veil from my eyes.
NOTE to self: Don’t believe everything by RG & LA: Stay away from Tragedy & Hope – waste of time and energy!
PS to Allan~ please reproduce your post regarding RG being the worst of the worst agents of deceit.
Kind regards,
~Kimberlie
I was all set to be freaked out if you quoted me quoting this guy — but I am game for reconsidering *anything* I think I know. It’s not always fun but it sure as hell beats blundering still further down a wrong path.
These comments are pretty good. For twenty years I have been going to write the great American novel on the Bath (Michigan 1920’s) school bombing. I thought that it was a good metaphor for modern society (you know, deception/anger), but I never got past a couple paragraphs. I keep thinking that it would work as a stage play (or musical/opera). Have you ever heard of Andrew Kehoe?
I’ve not heard of him. Why is he notable? (I could/should do a search but I’m curious why you bring him up in this context.)
DITTO to all the above comments!
Your posts are immensely enjoyed 😊
What are yours thoughts Allan, of the Chinese landing on the darkside of the moon?
Agree this would be of Great interest!
Okay, I’ll look into it but I already know that the Chinese are deep into space fakery, as are all the major powers…
write what you think…don’t sweat over it.
If you’re above ground not taking a dirt nap, it’ a good day. No pity while you’re on this f___king tera firma open air insane asylum. You’re not sleeping in a cardboard box under a freeway overpass, 60% of Americans couldn’t raise $400.00 cash in an emergency, considering all the permutations of calamity that befalls us all, you’re doing fine. The Weisbecker will rise again, guaranteed.
Please keep writing. Each post serves as a road map and an incentive to look up, and out, and really dig into things I otherwise would not!
Thank you!
HAY,
Its called getting old. I worry about the same things, Nothing works like it use to. Including my thoughts. But I do enjoy and look forward to reading yours. It keeps my mind working knowing that I am not the only one who views the world in this light. No need to apologist,
keep on trucking.
Write *anything*. I read you for your style as well as your insights; also I get a feeling of connection from reading your posts. Write about Gus; write about the sound of the wind over the RV. Write a serial story. Write about being Allan — it’s not *arrogant* to provide readers with a look into a different point of view, it’s the, er, point!
You might see a doctor — no, I wouldn’t throw my worst enemies into the clutches of modern “medicine”, but if there is something physical going on, you could then take it to your favorite healer (my chiropractor’s the best — a complete ditz, but *healing* is an art and boy is she an artist!) and see what happens.
Lastly, when you post stuff, we comment back, and that’s got to be good for something. So, what did Gus do this morning?
Yes, this sounds like a good idea but I suspect it would get old pretty quickly, especially given that I’m not the writer I was a decade ago, or maybe even last week. I fear I’m losing my sharpness, my edge, quite rapidly.
Who cares what *you* think of your writing? 😉 Readership will either increase, decrease, or continue; that’s your guide.
As a beauty I’m not a great star;
There are others more handsome by far.
But my face, I don’t mind it,
For I am behind it —
It’s the people out front that I jar.
Being 77 years old myself I certainly understand the fading stuff. Just keep plugging along and we will understand. Everything does not have to be world shaking to be interesting. There are so few writers out there as insightful as you. We would sure miss your work if you stop.
Thanks, Philip, and to the rest of you as well. Philip, it’s nice to know there is someone ‘ahead of me’ and paying attention to things.
Holiday season…never easy when you’ve experienced so much loss in life. As far as feeling like shit or down on things…this too shall pass…I hope. You have always been a thinker and writer…we the faithful enjoy the contact with you. I’ve suggested before that the blog be the brainstorming center. If that storm leads to a more concrete essay…so be it…if not… so be it. Remember the mind needs the past and future to exist, but we really don’t…all we have is now. Like surfing is a moment of peace…it exists in normal life too…I just breath and try to recognize all the constant change with in and outside of my moment to moment experience…becoming like an observer of my self…it helps ease unwarranted stress. We deserve to feel great…Let it happen.
Hearing your thoughts was a pretty sweet deal for me personally over here. They are top notch. But either way, hang in there and I wish there were something I could do. Just know that we really do give a crap. I had been thinking about where you had been for quite awhile.
How about you let US know what you need? Seriously, I know you are the blogger/writer and we your followers, but don’t hesitate to ask if there were ever something we/I could do to help.
I think you always want your posts and ideas to be super meaningful, since you are a writer and a thinker. Really though, I think it just would help to write. Write anything. Not even write…call, post, type, email, whatever. Keep things churning. Doesn’t have to be anything hugely meaning or amazing as prose. Just was nice to hear your daily thoughts. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Seriously. Don’t underestimate your value in simply sharing your daily point of view.
Thanks, Eric. I tried the ‘daily thought’ thing and it made me uneasy for some reason. Then I’d keep putting it off with the excuse that I am reading some books, learning stuff, watching good videos, etc. Let me think about it.
All the best in 2019 mate 🙂 i’ve always enjoyed your writing and your photography since i have been reading your blog has been a great escape to a world that seems far from my own. Thanks, and have a great year.
Have you watched the Adjustment Bureau recently? Interesting look at chance & necessity…
Yes, I remember that film well. Very very interesting. Once in a while they put out something good. By ‘they’, I mean the PTB. All the best (and worst) stuff is directly from them, I suspect.